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Lab Series (ELC)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Guide to Weddings

Image via Luxist

Anyone who knows me well enough knows I despise weddings. The reception is always the worst part especially if it's a dry wedding. Which I think is kind of rude to begin with, no? Ok, perhaps not rude but maybe a bit obnoxious? You send your obnoxious invitation with bells and whistles, I dreadfully RSVP with manners and sentiments of obligation only to be stuck at the "singles table" with people I would never want to speak to in life with no alcohol involved! In my opinion it's almost sadistic.  At least the alcohol will make me want to strike up a convo. Do I sound horribly cold? Perhaps, maybe just a little bit, but I am not the only single New Yorker that has muttered these words. Can I get an Amen? 

Everyone has his or her own beliefs on what is proper etiquette when attending a wedding. Some believe gift registries are vulgar and others feel invites are not invoices and if you do not attend you should not feel obligated to send a gift. If you have not been brought to the "Social Registry" (ahem Ramona from NYC Housewives) the lovely people at Luxist and Loro Chio NYC Lifestyle Concierge, have prepared us with all the proper etiquette questions and tips for your guide to summer weddings as well as tips for bride and grooms, grooms and grooms, and brides and brides (I have to add that this it's 2009 after all) getting ready to register. 

Luxist: If you can't make the wedding, do you still have to send a gift?

Lora Chio: If you get an invitation, you have to send a gift. Yup. This means that if you don't know the bride, but she invites you to her shower, you need to send a gift (regardless of whether or not you attend; regardless of whether or not she knows your name).

L: Is sending money ever okay? How much should you send?

LC: The unspoken rule of thumb for giving cash is to basically pay for your plates. For example, if you are at a wedding where you believe the reception rings in at $100 per head, and you were allowed to bring a date, you should give $200. That's just a starting point -- many other considerations should be made before you decide on a dollar amount: 
  • How close are you with the couple? Very? Give a little more.
  • Did they give you money at your wedding? If yes, you should give the same amount (or $1 more, just to be clever).
  • Did you have to travel for the wedding (and therefore pay for a hotel, a rental car, plane tickets, etc.)? Feel free to knock the dollar amount back a little -- you've already done a lot to be there for the special day.

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